Courage is not an absence of fear; courage is fear walking.
Susan David
At the end of last year, Amanda Viviers spoke on courage over certainty and it impressed my husband and me so much that we adopted it as a mantra for the new year.
None of us had any idea that this year was going to bring so much disruption, cause for fear, and so much uncertainty.
There are few certainties in life and this year has proved that over and over. With the bushfires and the Covid-19 crisis, there has been more than enough uncertainty.
Besides these things, we’ve all probably had other issues in our life that are uncertain. As each one hits, we feel the emotions, express anger, disappointment, hurt, and fear.
So, what does it mean to have courage over certainty in these days?
The thing that’s shocked me the most about this Covid-19 situation is that before this I was complacent. I’d made plans to travel for several months this year and planned to release a few books–life was looking like a lot of fun.
In the space of a few weeks, a situation that began in China and spread around the world touched our shores.
I think that Australians, me included, thought of our country as being in a circle of safety and goodness. We are the Lucky Country. Yes, we have domestic issues and poverty and our culture could do with overhauling in many areas, but we’re far away from war zones and the really bad things seemed to happen somewhere else.
For the first time, apart from the occasional cyclone up north back in the day, I’ve seen supermarket shelves diminished. I’ve seen thousands of people lined up at Centrelink who have lost jobs and need help.
Brené Brown called this pandemic a F*ing First Time (Or Terrible First Time TFT) and spoke about ‘embracing the suck of new’ in her Unlocking Us podcast. Because this is the first global pandemic we’ve faced, we can’t draw on the past to make sense of it. It’s new for all of us and change and uncertainty bring out different things in each of us.
So if we can’t have certainty, how can we have courage?
Brené Brown has some ideas that may help us to get our brave on and call on courage to help us get through.
- Name the FFT. Why am I afraid? Naming our emotions and naming what we’re facing, gives us power and gives us the ability to effect change and achieve purpose.
2. Normalise it. We don’t know how to do this social distance thing and, when we go into true lockdown, it’s going to be even more challenging. Parents who have to home school are challenged to keep their children happy and occupied.
We can’t make things certain, but we just have to do our best. By making a ‘new normal’ we don’t make things certain, but a new routine will help us to settle our emotions.
We can also decide to be grateful for one thing each day.
We can share our feelings and say one word that sums up how we feel. If we wrap words around what’s happening, we can create some ‘normal’ in this unprecedented situation.
3. Get Perspective. This is not going to be forever, but also don’t diminish or dismiss others’ feelings. Most people are scared or disappointed or feeling like the rug has been torn out from under their feet. We’re in this for a marathon, not a sprint and we’re all going to be feeling all the emotions, and that’s okay. But, get some perspective. One day, this will be over.
4. Reality Check. When we’re vulnerable, leaders or experts can try to get our trust by peddling certainty. They say things like, ‘This is exactly what is going to happen,’ with such conviction they have no right to be spouting. It’s irresponsible.
The reality is no one knows exactly what’s going to happen, and aside from the scientific numbers and definitive research, how can we make promises that things will pan out in a certain way?
Being okay with uncertainty can help us to accept things we can’t change, but also give us the courage to do the things that are in our power to do.
5. Have Courage. This verse came to me the other day when I was trying to encourage someone who is feeling fearful. The words have power and have been helpful to me in this situation.
We are hard-pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.
2 Corinthians 4:8-9
We need words and actions that give us courage. Courage comes from faith, no matter what your beliefs or practices, that there is something more than what we see in the temporal. That there is something in the spiritual world that loves us. That is in control.
We’re all tired and worn out already and we’ve only just begun to feel the effects of being so far away from normal that we can’t quite see how we’re going to ever be normal again.
Have courage my friends.
Have courage my friends.
Collateral Beauty
Nature is a balm in these times. Today, my husband and I went for a mountain bike ride in the bush. It had rained overnight and the air was cool and scented with eucalyptus. It was a beautiful start to the day after being confined to the house.
When we got back, my husband picked up some food and we ate brunch out in our garden. The roses are blooming, some leaves are turning rust orange and golden yellow, and the sun shone its warmth on us.
Taking moments to enjoy nature creates beautiful moments in our day and we need them more than ever.
