My Confession
In the hush of a Catholic church in Italy, surrounded by the light of holy candles and ancient relics, I had a moment of quiet reflection and meditation. I was looking for answers.
I’d just finished writing Amazing Grace, a YA novel about a girl who questions her sexuality. In the process of struggling with a very personal question, she faces a variety of responses from the people in her world. In writing from the point of view of a person faced with a personal dilemma that affected her social, emotional and spiritual health I was faced with the question of what my personal response would be.
Would I be on the liberal side of the issue or at the conservative end? Would I be brave enough to even release the book that I felt God put on my heart to write? I was scared and full of questions.
I’d been a teacher, and we all know that teachers like to be the one who asks others questions. We all know that teachers like to be the one who have the answers. I admitted in that holy place that I only had questions, I didn’t have clear answers and that, maybe, I had to reorientate my thinking.
I got an answer. The answer was that it was okay not to have answers. That the questions I had were not what I thought they were about. What I was really asking was, if I really loved people could I accept what I didn’t understand? Could I look at my faith walk, strip it back to basics and be okay with that?
In the end, the question about a person’s sexuality wasn’t the main concern. The main concern was how I would live, and relate, in a world that has such polarized views on everything.
Three things in human life are important.
The first is to be kind.
The second is to be kind.
And the third is to be kind.
Henry James
I find I am more certain of my personal belief in God these days, but I confess that I question some of the interpretations and cultural constructs around my faith, but faith is still my strength.
I’ve let go of some strongly held opinions or beliefs and am questioning others, however, my world is wrapped up in faith. A faith that says Love God and Love People.
I’ve found that when I’m less certain I choose to follow a simple path. When things aren’t completely right or wrong, black or white, my faith helps me to keep things simple. Sometimes we make things more complicated than they need to be. Love God and Love People.
Over the next few weeks as we move towards the launch of Amazing Grace some brave friends have joined me in confessing their own vulnerabilities, their own stories of times in their lives when they found it difficult to tell people something really personal, really intense, really hard.
Follow along as we share our confessions. Our uncertainties. Our stories.
Love from,
Elaine
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