I just finished reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, twice. At first I thought it was just positive thinking fluff, but it reminded me of a few principles and inspired me to begin 2014 with a renewed mindset.
Happiness for its own sake can be seen as a selfish ambition. Gretchen Rubin emphasizes that happiness isn’t all about selfish pleasure. Happiness can come from serving and helping others. One example that spoke to me was the way she dreaded organizing family events and parties because of the extra work, but always found she was glad she did them.
The principle ‘your happiness is often boosted more by providing support to other people than from receiving support yourself. I certainly get more satisfaction out of thinking about good deeds I’ve done for other people than I do from thinking about good deeds others have done for me. It’s a Secret of Adulthood: Do good, feel good,’ (Pg 145) sums it up nicely.
She adds,
‘One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy.
One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.’
There is so more in this book than pursuing happiness for its own sake. It’s not about changing your life completely because it’s all bad. If you read it looking for some encouragement in how to add value to your life as it is, rather than changing it completely, you will find some new joy in the life you live.
‘Happiness doesn’t always make you feel happy…in the short term, but in the long term, I was sure, I’d be happier as a consequence of behaving better,’ Rubin says.
My projects for the year include helping more people in my world, writing more books and investing in my health, amongst other things.
One of the things I’ve decided to do is fly to Sydney to spend time with a friend who has two young children and a third due very soon. Her husband travels a lot and works long hours. She doesn’t have family support in her city and most of her friends work full time and have children of their own.
It’s a cost to me in time, money and effort, but it makes me feel happier already knowing I can do this for my friend. I remember what it was like being at the same stage of life, and when you got that little bit of margin in your life, how freeing that was.
Over the next few blogs, I’m going to look at principles in my own life that will build happiness, not just for my sake, but also for others around me.
