The way we think influences how our lives pan out. I’ve read so many motivational quotes that tell me it’s not about what happens to us, but our attitude to it that makes a difference.
So, how do I build attitudes that will create more happiness in my life?
Gretchen Rubin concluded that happiness has four stages.
‘To eke out the most happiness from an experience, we must anticipate it, savor it as it unfolds, express happiness, and recall a happy memory.’
Anticipation is something that often remains in childhood. That feeling of waiting for a birthday, Christmas or the summer holidays seemed almost painful, but when the moment arrived the joy was palpable.
I remember smelling the grass in spring and anticipating softball season.
Warmth in the air and the promise of later sunsets made me think about long, lazy days at the beach, body boarding through the surf and the feeling of sun baked, salty skin.
Anticipation, feeling excited or looking forward to something was something I think I lost for a while in the seriousness of being responsible, of having to work hard and putting myself last in long list of priorities. I feel like I’ve lost a bit of joy in the process.
Often when we anticipate something and it arrives, we are disappointed because it may not live up to our expectations. I think it’s not about anticipating and expecting things will go exactly as we hoped, it’s about enjoying the moment now.
I’m anticipating a trip to the US in May this year. Our trips have a certain amount of things set into the schedule, however, we allow time and space for what we call adventures or going off the path. Whilst I anticipate going away, I anticipate more the fact that despite anything that could, and often does, go wrong in travel, we will have adventures and find things we never thought about beforehand.
The title of CS Lewis’s book Surprised By Joy often comes to mind. Happiness, or contentment, despite circumstances is something that can be built into our lives through discipline, I believe. However, true joy, the leap of joy that surprises and enchants us is ethereal and difficult to manufacture. Lewis put it like this:
It was more like when a man, after a long sleep, still lying motionless in bed, becomes aware that he is now awake.
Lewis shares his spiritual journey in this book and this is where the key is. We can work all we like on our attitudes, and build contentment into our lives by choosing our responses and reactions to things that happen, however, there is something that happens deep in our souls that is provoked or awoken when we pursue God.
So, one of my goals in 2014 is to build anticipation into my life. To garner excitement and feel that leap of joy in contemplating happy events, or even the ordinary, everyday events of life whilst pursuing a spiritual journey. I hope in the process to be surprised by joy.
