Let Go and Believe

Dear Brené,

Well, we’ve made it to the end of Rising Strong. When I embarked on the adventure of an online book club with Amanda and Jodie, I didn’t realise how exposed we’d all feel by the process.

Amanda, Jodie and I have something in common—if we do something, we do it wholeheartedly. Maybe that’s why this process has been less book clubbish and more therapy session.

I used to think I dealt with stuff well.

I’m strong.

I’m independent.

I’m resilient.

But…

I’m also in a healing process that will take me on a lifelong journey of ‘almost wholeness’. In other words, I will never be perfect.

The underbelly of my emotions has been exposed and, at times, it hasn’t been pretty.

In growing into the more authentic me I have to let go and believe.

Let go of what people think.

Let go of perfectionism.

Let go of numbing and powerlessness.

Let go of not enough and fear.

Let go of comparison.

Let go of the need for certainty.

Let go of exhaustion and productivity equaling self-worth.

Let go of anxiety.

Let go of self-doubt and supposed to.

Let go of being in control.

 

I have to believe.

Believe I’m worthy of love and belonging.

Believe in worthiness cultivated as choices or daily practice.

Believe in a life defined by courage, engagement, and clear sense of purpose.

Believe vulnerability is a catalyst of courage, engagement and purpose.

Brené you’ve taught me that the opposite of never enough isn’t abundance or more than you can ever imagine.

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The Rising Strong process means I’ve participated in honest conversations. When I say honest, I mean really, really honest.

Honest conversations are disruptive. Most of mine happen in the sleepless quiet of late night contemplations.

I’ve interrogated my emotions, motives and moved towards owning the truth of my story.

I’ve become more curious about my emotions instead of squashing things down.

Instead of wondering why grief jumps out at me like a monster on Halloween, I ask myself questions.

  1. What more do I need to learn and understand about the situation?
  2. What more do I need to learn and understand about the people in the story?
  3. What more do I need to learn and understand about myself?

We made a brave and conscious choice when we began this book club. We chose to confront our emotions, to be vulnerable.

Jesus told us that the truth will set us free. Brené, you’ve helped set us free because you’ve encouraged us to own our truth.

In the process we’ve opened up cracks, but as Leonard Cohen wrote:

Last Entry.001

 

Now that I’ve opened the crack there’s no turning back.

Brené, thank you for being my brave, daring courageous inspiration, for helping me to Rise Strong.

Your friend,

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Join The Conversation:

What is one emotion you have been made more aware of through the process of reading this book?

Shame, curiosity, anger, fear, rejection?

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