#35 Days of Dares #18 Dare to Be Brave
Being brave is not about never feeling scared. I don’t know how many times my body has frozen rigid in fear and yet stepped out to do something brave. I like this quote by Nelson Mandela:
I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.
Feeling the fear and doing it anyway has characterised many areas of my life.Here’s a few examples:
1. Be brave enough to live life creatively. The creative place where no one else has ever been. Alan Alda
I’ve had to find my brave in my creative life this last couple of years. I’ve had to be be brave in pushing the boundaries with my writing. I’ve done summer school at Oxford University and taken a retreat in Tuscany. I’ve worked with a great editor and am applying for a mentorship in London in order to push my fears away. I’m stretching, reaching and working towards writing in a different genre and getting my work to the stage it can sit comfortably on the world stage. Even writing that down is scary.
2. Be brave enough to make sacrifices.
“There are so many ways to be brave in this world. Sometimes bravery involves laying down your life for something bigger than yourself, or for someone else. Sometimes it involves giving up everything you have ever known, or everyone you have ever loved, for the sake of something greater.
But sometimes it doesn’t.
Sometimes it is nothing more than gritting your teeth through pain, and the work of every day, the slow walk toward a better life.
That is the sort of bravery I must have now.”
― Veronica Roth, Allegiant
I’ve never had to give up my life for anyone. I’ve made sacrifices for people in my life. I’ve given up a career I loved in order to become a writer. I’ve given up someone I loved because I knew he wasn’t right. (Read about that here: http://www.elainefraser.co/blog/dare-leave/)
But most of the time, being brave is found in the everyday decisions I make, the determination that makes me keep working towards my goals, even though I have no idea how it will pan out. Sometimes it feels more like I’m running backwards rather than walking forward, but I keep putting my bottom on my chair and write until I can’t write any more.
3. Be brave enough to do what’s right.
Atticus Finch is my all-time favourite character in a novel. His defence of an innocent man and the way he teaches his children to respect others makes him much more than an ordinary hero. He’s sexier than James Bond, Christian Grey or even Mr Darcy in my book. He’s attractive because he was brave enough to go against the culture in his southern town and defend a negro man against a white man.
It was times like these when I thought my father, who hated guns and had never been to any wars, was the bravest man who ever lived.
Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird
Sometimes you’ve got to stand up for what you believe in. There have been times in my life when there’s been something that stirs my sense of justice and it gets me fired up. Last year when I visited East Timor was one of those times. Seeing girls who had been abused by known perpetrators who evaded prosecution made me very angry. I wrote about it here: http://www.kinwomen.com/theres-no-forgiveness-without-love/
For ten years I travelled to Cambodia regularly to train teachers for an organisation that provides education for almost 3000 of the poorest children. I didn’t want to go. I almost vomited as I got on the plane to go the first time. But, I went and I kept going back. I believe in the power of education and I learnt to love going to Cambodia because I was playing a small part in changing children’s lives. I had to be brave and overcome my fears and it was so worth it.
4. Be brave enough to take risks.
I’ve taken physical risks and parachuted out of a perfectly good airplane. I took up triathlon in my forties and this year I’ve committed to doing the Oxfam Walk (100km in 48 hours). Risks involve a bit of fear, the possibility of failure or injury and take us out of our comfort zone. I believe that if we push ourselves to risk, we become braver and stronger.
“What does it mean if I’m afraid? Does it mean something bad is going to happen?”
“No, it doesn’t mean something bad is going to happen. It just means that you have the chance to be brave.”
C. JoyBell C.
