Dear Brené,
Well, we’ve made it to Chapter Four. Amanda’s become a ninja and is having an online personality crisis.
Jodie tried to skip Day Two, but found it impossible—just like you said she would.
I’m going to be straight with you, I don’t’ want to go into the Dark Cave of Reckoning. In fact, none of us want to go there.
Do we really need to go there if we want to deal with the underbelly of our emotions and Rise Strong?
In my last letter, I likened the Rising Strong journey to the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. After reading Chapter Four, I’m thinking I may just have signed up to be a Jedi Knight.
I do have a bit of Jedi Knight in me.
I have hit out at my enemies with lightsaber-like anger.
I run or hide when my emotions are stirred by the Galactic Empire of hurt.
I pretend that it doesn’t matter when I have Darth Vader-style father issues.
I know how to off-load hurt, bounce it off, numb and stockpile.
Is that why you told us about the scene where Luke Skywalker went into the swamp with Yoda?
It’s becoming clear that our quest is to rumble with the Dark Side.
We all know what the Dark Side looks like.
It looks like …
Off-loading hurt in sudden rage, sabotaging safety, creating fear.
Comparing, proving, pleasing, perfecting, out-performing, competing.
Skulling alcohol like cordial.
Swallowing pills like candy.
Devouring tubs of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.
Stockpiling emotions.
Filling our body with emotional toxins.
We numb the dark and, in the process, numb the light.
When we scrape the underbelly of our emotions something ugly and terrifying is released.
You tell me that only the brave, the curious, the honest and adventurous will be able to face the Reckoning.
That the Reckoning is where we find out where we are now and chart a course for the future.
That rumbling with our emotions and strategising will see us live a wholehearted life.
That our quest is to choose to write our own story. Choose courage over comfort.
In this quest will I …
Recognize or deny?
Rumble or run?
Become curious or numb?
It seems you’re telling us that the emotional Jedi descends into the darkness and battles himself.
His weapons are stripped away.
Weapons don’t win the war of emotions.
Weapons don’t make us the heroes of our story.
Weapons make the people around us collateral damage in a war that is ultimately with ourselves.
BUT…
The emotional Jedi gives themselves a permission slip to feel emotion. They are present in the moment. Choose to pay attention.
The emotional Jedi decides to tell their own story, live their own truth.
They bring their light into the darkness.
Brené, if I accept the challenge to live wholeheartedly I need to not only be brave, but Jedi Knight brave?
Okay.
It’s scary, but I’m ready to leap into Chapter Five.
I’m ready to rumble!
Your friend,
Elaine
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