Dear Brené,
I hope you don’t mind me calling you Brené. I’ve never met you in person, but I’ve read your books and watched your TED talks and feel like I know you.
In Rising Strong you give voice to so many things I feel, but haven’t been able to articulate. You’ve given me a language around the process of falling and failing and getting back up again.
Brené, I’m with you—
The more I learn,
the less I know.
I’ve learned to give up my pursuit of netting certainty
and pinning it to the wall.
Boom! You got me in sentence two of Chapter One!
I can’t seem to pin down anything at the moment. I’m being challenged, stretched, confronted, provoked and, after reading your books, totally okay with that.
Brené when you encourage me to be brave, to embrace vulnerability — I’m totally in.
I want to be in the arena—be brave with my life.
I want to show up and be seen, even when I have no control over the outcome.
Brené, I did my homework. I studied your ten laws and, to be honest, I’m a little undone.
Daring means I can say I will eventually fail and I’m still all in?
Brené—I’m in!
Now I’m in, I can’t fake it any more?
I can’t go back?
Falling changes us?
I’ll be homesick for a place that no longer exists?
I can’t go back to that moment before I entered the arena?
I thought I was brave going into the arena. Now you’re telling me that it’s going to take even more courage to go forward? There’s no way out?
Then you tell me the journey is my own?
I must cope on my own, but I must also learn to ask for and receive help?
Brené does that sound like the Lord of the Rings trilogy to you?
I totally get that we’re wired for story, but I was blown away by the idea that story is literally in our DNA.
We feel most alive when we’re connecting with others and being brave with our stories—it’s our biology.
I used to be a high school teacher and I get it when you say that creativity embeds knowledge so that it can become practice. We move what we’re learning from our heads to our hearts through our hands.
But, engaging with my emotions is really, really, really,really difficult. I want to avoid, hide, run from, and squash my emotions, especially when there’s conflict. So when you tell me that, good leaders don’t avoid emotions. They engage with them. They lean into discomfort and vulnerability, I may not like you as much as I first indicated.
But, I’ll trust you. You’re my friend. Right?
I like the next law. I can expand my compassion. My personality is wired this way. Finally, a law I can excel at!
Love is the last thing we need to ration in this world.
Brené when you say, You can’t engineer an emotional, vulnerable, and courageous process into an easy, one-size-fits-all formula, are you kidding? I thought this book outlined a step-by-step-overnight-user-friendly process. I’m sorry, but I feel duped. I believe you, but I wish being brave was as easy as dishing up two-minute noodles.
It can take twenty minutes or twenty years.
Some people get stuck in one spot
for ten years. There are patterns,
but no formula. You can’t perfect it
so it’s fast and easy.
Oh Brené! Courage IS contagious. That’s why my friends and I love your books so much. You’ve helped us to be brave. One day, when we grow up, we want to be as contagious as you.
Courage is contagious. Rising Strong changes people around you. It can be a clarion call for more daring or a painful mirror for the soul.
There have been times in my life I was so certain, convinced, cocksure.
But, the more I learn, the less I know.
Rising Strong is a spiritual practice. It must be spiritual…
Our expressions of spirituality are as diverse as we are…
Practicing spirituality brings a sense of perspective, meaning,
and purpose to our lives.
Some of us call that power greater than ourselves
God.
My spirituality influences everything you’re encouraging me to be. Brave. Vulnerable. Daring.
God is my fulcrum point. My centre. My certainty in uncertainty. But…
My spirituality is also going through a process. It’s in the arena. It’s being tested. It’s being questioned. It’s becoming less one-dimensional. It’s becoming more like the God I love—beyond comprehension, all encompassing.
My spirituality is becoming vulnerable. Brave. Daring.
Brené, I’ve only read Chapter One and I’m in.
Elaine
Fantastic – I started reading the book and am almost finished. I’ll post my thoughts and join you guys. Much love Elaine. Cate x
Dear Brene,
Count me in too. You summed up how I feel when you said “I want to be in the arena. I want to be brave with my life”.
Earlier this year I got my ‘ass kicked’. It was painful yet it forced me to confront some stuff, particularly things about myself – behaviours, attitudes, and mindsets that needed to change. Around this time I listened to your TED talks on shame and vulnerability – bravo! by the way, they are amazing – and you defined vulnerability as our greatest measure of courage. This resonated with me for as much as I value the importance of vulnerability and know that it’s crucial in developing meaningful connections with others, I knew that I was somewhat resistant to actually practicing it in my own life with those closest to me. I realised I lacked courage, and that if I chose not to be vulnerable I would suffer for it; in that my relationships would be limited because of it. And so I have made a choice since then to be brave with my life and although this can & will involve pain and discomfort, you are right when you say that it’s also invigorating! So count me in. I’m committed to living a wholehearted life. I want to be inspired (your book certainly does this) and I want to be inspiring to others, especially my kids who will also have to go through this process of falling and rising again.
Thanks again Brene – let’s do coffee some time!
Rachel 🙂
Dear Brene,
In a world that is so saturated with online distancing ourselves from the reality of our everyday, reading your words has brought such truth into my today. I am so over the filters I put on my photos and the twisting of the truth to sound my life sound cooler than it is.
You have helped me make brave steps towards living a fully connected life and I refuse to allow shame to rule my world any longer.
I am looking forward to a little more bad ass,
Sincerely
A fellow creative ninja
Amanda
Dear Brené,
You say “we can choose courage or we can choose comfort, but we can’t have both”. This book club is me choosing courage over comfort.
This book club is me accepting that “we are wired for story”. This book club is me struggling with and owning my story, the good, the bad, the happy and the hard. This book club is me being brave with my story, along with all the other wonderful people that are sharing courageously here.
You tell me, “Story is literally in our DNA”.
I’m in too!
Jodie
(PS – count me in for coffee)
Yes, yes, yes. Doing hard things.
Here is a coffee toast to you all!!
Hard to put into words exactly how I am feeling at the moment but I think it may be a bit like a chrysalis . I have such hope for the future and gratitude for the serendipitousness of my life at the moment – not really a word but how else can I explain all of the amazing God ordained events of the past few weeks that have brought me to this place of epiphany. That’s it – Epiphany………….. I have searched for so many years for Truth. I am tasting it and it is hard to swallow – not letting regret even stay for longer than it takes me to recognize it and refuse to let it take up residence. Having courage to ponder the words that resonate with my spirit from you Brene. You have gone before us – and now share with such openness and vulnerability and I just want to thank you – the bits of you that have died have somehow brought new life to all who read and really really see maybe for the very first time. I feel a bit battle fatigued somehow yet peaceful and ready to courageously do the work – finally letting go of the things that have held me captive.
[…] PS: If you have missed the other chapters published this month it is easy to catch up. Amanda wrote on the Intro here and Elaine on Chapter One here. […]
Thanks Elaine, I’m looking forward to coming along for the ride as well, I’ve totally gone through fall downs that have cost me almost all valued and I it felt at times my life was over, what a long upward climb it has been, but on the same token, wow, has God brought me to places of much better understanding of myself and his love, and his perfect plan and timing.
No. 2 totally resonated with me,”courage transforms the emotional structure of our being. This change often brings a deep sense of loss. During the process of rising, we sometimes find ourselves homesick for a place that no longer exists”.
I found this place so hard to process and to see it in print as something that others have experienced makes it feel like the landscape is not so desolate when we end up there.
I have learnt so much through the process of falling and rising, my life is actually not the same. This book club is going to be great timing to see what I can learn through embracing this process when it inevitably happens again. I want to rise strong.