Present over Perfect book club: Sea-change
I ended last year with a crash. Running on adrenalin and coffee for years on end, allowing my body, mind and soul to fracture resulted in a ‘frantic and frayed’ life.
I craved silence. I craved a slower, considered, quieter, soulful life.
I hankered for the days before the tyranny of social media and 24/7 connectivity. A life driven by the pings of notifications drew me away from living in the moment, to living online at the whim of whatever popped up on my screen.
I picked up my copy of Shauna Niequist’s Present over Perfect and used it as a way to walk through anxiety, depression and exhaustion. I blogged about the journey and posted quotes on Instagram. So many people contacted me privately to say that they too were exhausted.
I’m beginning this year with a full-body plunge into ‘quiet, connection and simplicity’.
But, this year is also a year of travel for me. My husband is riding a motorbike around the world to raise awareness for Water for Africa. I’ll be meeting up with him at various points, but mostly I’ll be travelling alone.
Travel can be hectic and noisy and uncomfortable, so we’ve built in retreats, rest and slower paced experiences so that we will come home at the end of the year with a fresh mindset.
This is a sea-change year for both of us. A year of setting sail into new waters, breaking old patterns, and hopefully, arriving in calmer waters at the end of the year.
Living out of a suitcase and the panniers of a motorbike will reduce our world to few possessions. It’s a chance to find out what we really value, what we’ll miss, what we won’t miss, and even perhaps show us a new way of living.
This year, I’m challenging myself to finish two books and find space to be inspired to write more—along with completing a year of bucket list experiences as I Write Around the World.
It’s going to be a full year, a busy year, but it won’t be a frantic and frazzled year because we’re building space into the schedule.
A slow cruise along the coast of Norway, a week alone in a cottage in Massachusetts, a week on a writing retreat in Tuscany and climbing Mt Kilimanjaro, are part of my year of sea-change.
Your slow boat in Norway might be camping in the bush. Your cottage in Massachusetts might be a stolen hour with a cup of tea before the children wake. Your writing retreat might be a day a week in a café to write. Your Kilimanjaro may be running up and down Jacob’s Ladder.
Whatever your sea-change may be, the challenge of this chapter is really about learning a way to travel through life with ‘quiet, connection and simplicity’—a way of travelling that takes us from frantic and frazzled to present and peaceful.
When we have an inciting incident in our lives, an epiphany, a realisation, that causes us to change, people may point at us and say we’re going through a midlife crisis or even a menopausal moment, but it’s not. It’s an unravelling of our old way of living which causes us to embrace life in a new way. Free from expectations of what we should be doing or what others think we should be doing, we can just be ourselves.
Crossing over to a new way of living can feel like wrapping yourself in a blanket of love and shielding yourself from the big scary world or it can be like climbing a mountain with your chest bursting from the lack of oxygen and you wonder if you’ll ever make it.
Being present isn’t always perfect. Being present isn’t always easy. Being present is living.
Attraversiamo! (Let’s Cross Over)
Question:
Are you ready for a sea change?
What will it take for you to cross over to another way of living?
Thank you Elaine for sharing so beautifully. “When we have an inciting incident in our lives, an epiphany, a realisation, that causes us to change, people may point at us and say we’re going through a midlife crisis or even a menopausal moment, but it’s not. It’s an unravelling of our old way of living which causes us to embrace life in a new way. Free from expectations of what we should be doing or what others think we should be doing, we can just be ourselves.”
So gooood.
I am very excited for your year ahead and can’t wait to hear all about it. What an adventure~!!
Much love,
Cate
Elaine, your trip away sounds so utterly inspiring. I keep telling my husband that just because he is a keen cyclist, and I am not, there is nothing stopping us (other than perhaps income) from doing something similar to what you are doing. He can do his thing, I can do mine, and we will meet inbetween. Thanks for the example.
Hi Asta, I think couples can cheer each other on and enjoy adventures together. Sometimes it’s not about the money so much, as sharing adventures now. We started by having day or weekend adventures around home, then went further afield as it became more achievable.
Oh my goodness Elaine, great post. So fitting for me on this day of the kids returning to school. Going to take those three words ‘honesty, connection and grace’ with me through the rest of this week. xx
PS: and in answer to your question. I think my sea-change this year will take intention, vulnerability and a commitment to periods of rest.
I felt like this is my story when I shifted down to the sea where I live. It was like I needed to walk the ocean and walk with no one and find myself again. I am learning that when I turn off to the world to the noise, I need to turn off my brain as well and turn it onto positive thoughts. Thanks so much for your thoughts.
Your question is: “are you ready for a sea change?”….what if the answer is “I think so….but….”
What if the answer is: “I’m not ready actually….but I think I need one….”
For me the BUT is that there is a lot to give up in fully committing to the change. And without being cryptic, the way my life has gone, the choices I have made, the work experiences I have had don’t seem to qualify me for many of the jobs I may want in Perth. For some of us there is a need (real or perceived I can’t quite say as yet) to keep earning and this contributes to maintaining the status quo, even if the status quo may be the very thing that is weighing us down….
I love it that you wrote this Elaine, “…people may point at us and say we’re going through a midlife crisis or even a menopausal moment, but it’s not. It’s an unravelling of our old way of living which causes us to embrace life in a new way…”
I’m grateful to have the opportunity to engage in this book club and I’m looking forward to more posts and to attempting to be “real” in my reflections whilst reading yours.
Hi,Sandie thanks so much for commenting and sharing a little. I guess it’s not always about changing everything, but changing the way we do things that’s important. We planned for change over five years before we could take the plunge. Also, our children were just finishing uni and we felt we could take some chances. I hope you find your way through.
Hey Sandie,
I really enjoy your thoughts here and also on social media. Your real is very interesting and thought provoking to me.
Hope you are doing well.
Thank you Amanda. My life has certainly not followed a “traditional” path….from a very ordinary upbringing in the Perth foothills I have had the most amazing experiences, beyond my wildest dreams….but I am reflecting on the fact that for everything there is a cost. I am so thankful that through following Eliane Fraser on instagram I learned of this book. Shauna’s story is not exactly mine at all, but there are parts that resonate strongly. I have so many thoughts swirling around my mind….it’s hard to tell if my desire to “fall in” to the thinking that the book espouses is because this is truly the place I am at OR am I using it as an excuse to stope being brave and strong and follow the calling I am supposed to follow.
I thank you three ladies for initiating this and I am really looking forward to getting my teeth into it!
Wow Sandie, so grateful for your comments, and that this book and our discussion of it are provoking interesting questions in you. It is such a good book to help you follow those questions. Don’t be afraid of them, and I am excited to see what they reveal.
Love your post!
I’m in the midst of yet another sea change…getting married to a slower paced person who forced me to stop the busyness was the start and now its like phase two in our marriage of slowing down yet again.
It has taken a big shake up for me to change but its worth it.
Slowing down has been so great for us. We ran on and on for so long until we didn’t know if we running from, or to, something. Thanks for sharin😄
It is interesting how these things have seasons don’t they Keryn, a time for slowing down, a time for slowing down some more!
Great words to meditate on today. Your journey sounds very familiar!! Happy travels!
yes indeed